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Following on from the success of our Rowing Haiku edition, Underground Poetry corner is delighted to be able to bring you exerts from our new, eclectic collection of rowing limericks. Over the years a number of renowned poets have penned down verses about the art of the blade, that have appealed to our senses both emotionally and spiritually. Yet, no rowing collection would be complete without including the limerick's thematic variety... producing poetry that is fluent in style, full of humour and intensity. This is a collection which is at times bold and aggressive in its choice of words, and at times quite intense in meaning. A must buy for anyone who appreciates contemporary Rowing poetry |
A four that was racing the head discovered their cox'n was dead so to speed up their ride dumped him over the side and finished it coxless instead A sculler who rowed out of Vesper had been seen in the showers to have chest hair. "the steroids, you see, they took hold of me" so the drug police came to arrest her A woman, a novice to crew was attacked by a crab while at 2 as the blade passed her seat it pulled out both her feet and ejected her into the blue The stroke of the men's coxless four found low rating a bit of a bore but by losing the slide he could rate eighty-five and on good days a little bit more A certain young lady from Twickers when asked why she never wore knickers said "rowing's no fun when they ride up my bum it just makes my technique that bit slicker" A cox'n approached LRC and enquired of their membership fee "all this money you ask just to sit on my ass? I'd be better off back at the Lea!" There once was a sculler from Thames who's boat held a mirror and a lens This curious contraption Required technique adaptation but at least he could see round the bends There was a young rower from Ealing who found ergo tests quite appealing but when put in a boat realised ergos don't float as the coach by his side was soon squealing A well known rower called Trigger Was proud of his tall and thin figure That might have been so But he started to grow And soon became bigger and bigger At trials was a scrubber of name who possesses notorious fame (for he likes sixty-niners) But if his boat had been finer He might have been top ten in the game A TRC coach dismissed grace and was interested only in pace Though not in a boat It was Ergo "by rote" For he thought it could win him a race A coach training crews for Hen-ley Lamented his own injured knee "If it wasn't for ligaments I'd have seat-raced these big c***s, but I'm stuck with gold vicarious-ly" Universities in the US will offer a scholarship test. For a 6.30 ergo they say "you can far-go" Its zilch to do with cleverness A man wore his lycra quite tight 'cause he though if he did, that he might Show the girls what to touch But was it was just a bit much And they all ran away in a fright A short sighted sculler from Quintin Kept losing the rack that his boat's in but girls won't make passes at men who wear glasses so he'd rather appear to be squintin' A rowing enthusiast, Cox, Had water seep into his socks. By upward attraction Capillary action Caused testicle rot in his jocks. |
