go-012000 LAUNCH DRIVER POLL
The poll has now been closed. After an initial strong showing from Billy Mason and the IC/QT Surf crew, the drivers at Thames appear to have pipped them to the post (ah how reminiscent of the women's head)...

To see the final results CLICK HERE

05-03-01THE LIGHTS WERE ON...
A group of old friends (which included an x-Tideway Sculler and current Quintin vet) met at the Ship in Mortlake on Sunday night for a little quiet bonhomie. The ex-Sculler and one other were parking outside the pub around 9 pm when a conversation ensued which went something like this;

  • Non-rower: "Am I alright to park here as it's rather close to the river - I don't want to come out of the pub to find my car half sunk"

  • Ex-Sculler: "No you're OK - the tide's going out... you can tell by the empty Scullers coaching launch that just drifted past"

    Our dynamic duo then sprang into action. Calls were made to TSS with no reply and attempts to grasp the launch by hanging off the wooden pontoon in front of the brewery failed.

    Wishing to be responsible citizens, our two heroes then jumped back into their car and drove over the bridge to Scullers boathouse. They found both bays of the boathouse open and then went upstairs in search of life, admiring a Computer, Television and a video as they went. Eventually they found a somewhat sleepy bemused individual whose reaction to their story was best described as "muted"

    Now dear reader, whilst the rest of us try to precariously maintain policies of trying to look after our expensive equipment and drum home to all club members the need for heightened levels of security in our boathouses (especially out of rowing hours)- the Slug has to ask just what kind of policy are TSS trying to adopt?

    • 25-02-01TIDEWAY TITBITS...
    Heard on the Head Course on Sunday Morning:

    cox: "Bow, you're not working hard enough."
    bow "YES I AM!".

    From where the slug was sitting, bow definitely looked as though he was killing himself, though how much of his hard work was actually being directed into the puddles is another thing entirely....

    The slug was pleased to see Cambridge well ahead at Hammersmith bridge in the first of their trial pieces against Molesey on Sunday. Molesey may not have been at their best though, given that they quickly pulled in to empty the boat out and for the stroke to take a hot shower before continuing with the other pieces.

    As For Mr Vondra, a couple of people have reported that his coach recently recommended a "change of lifestyle" to him after he turned up for an ergo test in less than perfect health, if you know what I mean.

    That'll be the day...

    25-02-01TWAS THE WEEK BEFORE THE HEAD...

    ... and all on the river were training like mad ...
    Although some were more mad than others.

    Picture the scene, a bright cold February Sunday and two VIIIs from a Putney club start a 10-minute piece from above Chiswick Bridge. They are merrily piling down the course ... only to come across some damned fool nine tourists in their nice shiny yellow boat sat, diagonally across half of what is currently a fairly tricky-to-navigate central span of Barnes Bridge.

    But it's a clear day so the home crews can see the obstruction, they manage to go around and carry on, easying after their piece around the bottom of the island. Very soon, a nice shiny yellow boat and their coach subsequently come racing through.

    The coach, our blue-eyed illustrious former world lightweight single sculls champion slows. Hoorah! It's a coach slowing down and reducing his wash! erm.... no.

    "This is the Head of the River" he cries.

    "Funny", think the stationary VIIIs, "we thought that was next week or three weeks away", but by this stage Mr H had passed quickly into his full ranting stride and the crew members didn't want to distract him.

    He starts laying in to cox and stroke and all and sundry about easying "on the course" (although, if that was "the course" then you'd probably want to shoot the cox for taking a crap line).

    But on he blows and the VIIIs sit there, amused at the ranting Celt in full flow, marvelling at that same persistence and stamina which brought him such success and acclaim in a boat.

    Well, gentle reader, that was them well and truly told, wrists suitably slapped... that I can tell you for nowt.

    Now. Not having visited the Hallowed waters of the Henley reach recently the slug can't say if UT's wooden scout hut has actually morphed into a glass-boat-house, but it seems to us that their coach has been appointed stone-thrower in chief....

    25-02-01SOFT HANDS
    The girls in Black, red and White were out training en masse for the Women's head last week, (Thames have ELEVEN crews entered), when the coaching team noticed that one poor girl was gripping onto her blade with all her strength, white knuckles gleaming in the pale sunlight.

    Not one to let such a thing go uncorrected, Coach Gary pointed out the error of her ways and boomed in a loud voice "Hold it like you would a man's penis..". The other coaches at the back of the launch just looked at each other and shrank down into the boat.

    By all accounts the advice worked, though The slug can't help but wonder about the depth of Gary's experience in such matters.