ORDER, ORDER

Not so long ago, one of the newcomers to coxing at Thames RC was out with a womens Eight during a Saturday outing when, horror of all coxing horrors she made the fatal mistakes of:

a) being in one of the clubs best eights
b) being in line with the boats
c) being in line with the black buoy and
d) hitting the black buoy...at speed

After succesfully wiping out a few crew members down the rear of the boat and ensuring it needed severe treatment for seri-arse boat damage, her luck took a further turn for the worse when she came off the water only to cop the following barrage from non other than the HONOURABLE Alan Hawes...

"There are two things you can see from the Moon, the Great Wall of China and the Black Buoy"

Not a lot to add to that really!

BUT IT'S NEARER THAN IKEA...

There is a long history of rowers "collecting" things when they have had a few bevies and it was of no surprise to the slug to find out that some of the ressies at the new "Cherry Wood and Carpets Soft lighting and Piped Music - state of the art Trusthouse Forte IC/QT boathouse" have been continuing the tradition.

Apparantly, Messers Brewster and Sheep were spotted staggering over the bridge one night not so long ago, absolutley w*nkered after a heavy sesh in the Pharaoh and Firkin.

Amazingly enough, in a completely unrelated incident the very next day, a wooden trestle table had mysteriously appeared on the roof balcony of the boathouse...

Soon afterwards the proprietor of the Dukes Head made a discrete enquiry to Mr Bill Mason (ATUMIBR...) who "dunno nufink" about any trestle tables. Apparently young Billy genuinely didn't know anything then, but he does now!!