I’m the bashful strokeman and now that we’re on station,
My bladder’s rocked with utter shock from maximal hydration,
The cox runs through the race plan and talks about each quarter,
But I know that I’ll wet myself if I hear running water
Pee in the river – it doesn’t matter where,
Don’t face the clubhouse – you’ll scare the children there.
I feel that sense of fullness is becoming something chronic,
I’ve overdone the Perrier and liquids isotonic,
If it was only training then I doubt I would be that fussed - but
I’ve never done a 2k race whilst rowing firm, legs crossed
Pee in the river – you have to make it quick,
Umpire is myopic – he’ll think you’re being sick
Even though your head says “no!”
Your bladder can’t resist
So whiz…
I’m the cocky strokeman who should pee before he boated,
I’m told I often take the piss, but think that’s been misquoted
Someone has a camera recording us so I’m told
But I am worried what they’ll film as things shrink when it gets cold
Pee in the river – just stand up in the boat,
Cox has a ruler – I’m sure she’s taking notes
Even though your head says “no!”
Your bladder can’t resist
So whiz…
da piddley qa qa da piddley qa qa
da piddley qa qa da piddley qa qa
da piddley qa qa da piddley qa qa
da piddley qa qa da piddley qa qa
Pee in the river – there’s nothing left to fear
Pee in the river –you might get a small cheer
(Fade)
