At a boat club that rows down in London
Men’s captain I had been made
And many an hour of sweet happiness
Did I have as I pulled on my blade
A great misfortune befell me
Which caused me to be quite unmanned
Far away from the squad and my own crew
Betrayed by the black velvet band.
Her stroke it shone like diamonds
I thought her the Queen of the Thames
And her hair it hung over her lycra
Tied up with a black velvet band.
As I walked there through Furnival Gardens
For breakfast at the Thai Café
Who should I see but this pretty, fit girl
Come a paddling along the Tideway.
She struck a beautiful rhythm
Her catch it was smooth as a swan
She didn’t wash out at the finish
And her hand speed just turned me on.
Her stroke it shone like diamonds
I thought her the Queen of the Thames
And her hair it hung over her lycra
Tied up with a black velvet band.
We went in a pair down to Putney
When a man in a scull came too near
I knew she meant the sinking of him
And I wished I’d not let her bow steer.
She drove us straight over his canvas
And tipped him right into the Thames
And the very first thing that I said was
Success to the black velvet band.
Her stroke it shone like diamonds
I thought her the Queen of the Thames
And her hair it hung over her lycra
Tied up with a black velvet band.
Before the safety committee
Next morning I had to appear
A rep from the ARA was there
And his look turned me rigid with fear.
You didn’t sign out in the log book
The woman she wasn’t insured
You steered the wrong side of the river
As captain the blame must be yours.
Your boat club has binned you from Henley
An indefinite ban you must serve
There’s no senior crew for you young man
And it’s much less than you deserve.
Her stroke it shone like diamonds
I thought her the Queen of the Thames
And her hair it hung over her lycra
Tied up with a black velvet band.
So to any eager young novice
A warning that I’ll have you know
When you are boating along the Thames
Beware of the women who row.
They’ll turn your head with their bladework
Their all in ones make you go spare
And the very next thing that you’ll know is
You’ve been chosen to stroke the tub pair.
Her stroke it shone like diamonds
I thought her the Queen of the Thames
And her hair it hung over her lycra
Tied up with a black velvet band.
