I don’t know what it is that makes me hate you so
I only know I really don't want you to row
'cause you're going nowhere
Oh, don’t you see?
That since you've been a novice
You've been sat at three
It happens to be true
I never want to row with you
I simply do not care about your 2k score
I'm getting suicidal 'cause you're in my four
Oh look what has happened – another crab
I never knew that anyone could be that bad
It's simple and it's true
I never want to row with you
you just can't sit the boat
why don't you try a single
Your sculling's just as bad
but at least we wouldn't have to mingle
Now listen honey
I won’t sit behind you anywhere
Peterborough, Henley Royal, I don’t care
'cause your starts are rubbish
Oh, can’t you see?
You'll never get the rate
To more than twenty three
No matter what you do
you're always going to row like poo
